The Unknown Metro Girl !

Life as such was quite monotonous, home to office and then back from office to home, the Saturday night party and hangout with friends, followed by full day Sunday slumber. But, 19 January 2013 had something else in store for me and it changed my life forever.

It was quite warm and sunny day, for the winters in the month of January. And as usual, I woke up quite late in the morning, actually way beyond my usual late, it was like super late. As I hurriedly rushed through the morning chores and got ready for work, I became worried and tensed, as I was quite sure that my boss is going to be damn furious on me, for being so late. But, all my worries and tensions were evaporated and poofed away into thin air, as I stepped on 'Yellow Line Delhi Metro' from 'Rajiv Chowk', as she boarded the train with me.

The moment I saw her, I fell in love with her. She is the girl of my dreams, the angel I have been waiting for all my life. I don't know who she is? Or what her name is? But, the moment I saw her, I gave my heart to her. It was my first love and that too at the very first sight. Oh God! I am so much in love with her (chuckles).

During the entire journey, my eyes were fixated on her; I was so much mesmerized by her presence that I became oblivious to every other thing. She was standing at an arms distance from me; her big black eyes, her smile and her aroma were driving me into an ecstatic oblivion.

As she leaned against the pole, to get support, I observed that she is as fair as I am and is about five feet eight inches in height. My heart skipped a beat, and whispered, "She is five eight something, you are six feet tall, and both of you are amazingly fair, the pair of you will make an exceptionally cute couple together". I must have been looking really funny, thinking about her, because she looked at me and gave the most beautiful and cutest smile, I have ever seen.

As the train reached 'INA' station, a seat got vacated and she occupied it elegantly. It was only when she was seated, I noticed she was wearing a coffee colour kurti, dark brown lycra leggings, an inch thick dark brown flip flops with bronze colour straps, and matching them all was her multi colour stole with prominent dark brown and red colour in it.

When she crossed her legs to make her comfortable, I observed that her toe nails were painted bright pink in colour, a fashion disaster if I say so myself, baby pink would have been the best choice, but even bright pink look fabulous on her. While she was looking here and there, biting her lips nervously and flipping through the pages of 'The Hobbit', I was appreciating her lovely hands, although her finger nails were not painted but they were nicely manicured. Her hands were decorated with 'mehandi', which looked very pretty on her fair hands, and I guess I saw my initials written in her 'mehandi design'. Man! I am so hopelessly in love with this angel sent from the heavens.

As the train approached 'Ghitorni' station, she opened her black coloured hand bag which has striped red and black strap, and took her blackberry out, started its front camera to see herself in it. Within next few minutes, she applied lip balm, gloss, and eye liner; all the while carefully watching herself in her blackberry. All this while, my heart was skipping beats and singing, 'CHANDI JAISA RANG HAI TERA, SONE JAISE BAAL, EK TU HI DHANWAAN HAI GAURI, BAAKI SAB KANGAAL".

Finally, both of us de-boarded at 'Sikanderpur' station, she went towards her home and I paced towards my office with her memories which have found their new home in my heart.

Silent Love

Love, the most powerful and constructive force in the entire world, it can motivate us so much so that, we can even achieve what is impossible. And sometimes, to make someone we love, happy, we go to great lengths, which include hurting ourselves and giving ourselves a lifetime of solitude and hatred.

Kani - Angad, I can’t talk to you anymore, it’s not that I am mad at you, it’s just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can’t have you and that makes me love you even more.

I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am clueless and I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel like, how I miss you, how I love you despite my broken heart, and how I need you in my life. But those words may forever stay in my heart, locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too, but I’ll never know.

All I know is I love you today, I will love you tomorrow, and I will love you Forever!!!

Behind Every Rapist

Behind every rapist is he himself who could not control his beastly emotions but he is not the only one. Because, behind every rapist,

• Is a Father who treated his wife as a slave.
• Is a Mother who meekly followed her husbands whims.
• Is a Sister who kept quite or even supported her brother who harassed other girls.
• Is a friend who thought it is cool to tease a girl and even cooler to rape her.
• Is a girl who mis-uses her charm to use a guy.
• Is a Grandmother who sees her newborn Grand-daughter and gets depressed.
• Is In-laws who harasses their daughter-in-law­ for dowry.
• Is Education System which offers advanced courses of Physics, Chemistry and Biology but doesn't offer basics on sex education.
• Is a TV serial where female lead is devising plans of consummation of her marriage even when she knows her husband loves somebody else.
• Is a Novel which portrays weakness of a woman as her sacrifice for her family and her meekness as a virtue.
• Is a Patriarchal System which preaches that woman has little to none rights in decision-making.
• Is alcohol/drugs which makes one insane.
• Is News Chanel which broadcasts rape news as an entertainment.
• Is a Politician who thinks that child marriage will solve the rape problem.
• Is a Lawmaker who came up with biased laws against the victim.
• Is a Legal System which has a provision for rape victim to marry her rapist.
• Is a Society which over-rates sex and takes pride in depicting woman as a sexual object.

And in the end, behind every rapist is Me and You who shout at top of our lungs "Castrate, Life Imprison, Hang in Public, Burn, Cut one hand and a leg of rapists" for 5 days and then forget everything and get on with our life.

Don't let this fire blow off until Justice is achieved.

I don't know why, this time I seriously want to do something concrete about this. But, in a democracy like India, majority rules, so I need the support of all the responsible citizens of India, to put an end to this mayhem. I promise, 'You give me your support and strength, and I will give you SAFE INDIA.'

All those who want to contact me, can mail me on 'loveguru9@gmail.com'.

Love Pledge

'To LOVE and to be LOVED, are the greatest joys on the earth', and for the same, I pledge :

"I know its all my fault, but I never loved anyone, as I love you. I never cried for anyone, as I cry for you. I promise to you, whatever it takes, I will give away all my things, I will fight with everyone if I have to, I wont care if I have to stand up in cold, in sun or in rain, I won't think about myself, and I won't give up on you. Whatever it takes costs, even myself, but I'll bring you back in my life, because without you I have no reason to live. We will make our future the best, but without you nor today is mine neither tomorrow."

This LOVE PLEDGE is my pledge for the love of my life and is dedicated to her only.

Also it is a message to all the lovers, to inspire them, to motivate them and to encourage them not to give up on their love.

Stolen Dreams - Lifetime Of Death !

Rape is not just a women's issue. It's about men who stop behaving like human beings and start behaving like animals.

On 16 December 2012, a physiotherapy student, with a male friend of hers was on her way to home after watching 'The Life Of Pie', and her life changed forever. When the couple boarded a chartered bus at about 9 pm, a group of men who were on bus began harassing her, asking why she was out late with a man. When her friend tried to intervene, he was gagged and then hit with an iron rod. Six men then hit the girl with the same iron rod and gang raped her while the driver kept the bus moving. At about 11 pm, the couple was thrown naked onto the road, out of the moving bus.

The couple was lying on the road, hurt and nude for around an hour. The girl's vagina and her small and large intestines are totally damaged, and she won't be able to live a married or normal life. The doctor treating her said, "In my career of twenty years, I have never seen such brutality. I cannot describe in words, what this girl has gone through, it pains me while thinking about it." The girl has gone in coma five times since 16 December. She is unconscious, critical and crying nonstop. Her only fault is that she is a girl and that too living in a city like Delhi. The boy on the other hand has not gone through much physically, but mentally and emotionally he was raped too. He had to watch his friend get raped in front of him, and he was helpless to do anything for her. For the rest of his life, the guilt of not able to save his friend of a dreadful fate will haunt him.

The most astonishing verdict is of Delhi's Chief Minister, Mrs Sheila Dixit, who delivered justice by cancelling the license of the bus. Thank you very much Sheila! You have delivered an excellent justice in a short time. The victim, that girl who is fighting the battle between life and death, will always remember and cherish your justice, provided if she survives. Personally, I felt ashamed to hear such a statement. And it's a pity, that you cannot understand a woman's pain being a woman yourself.

I am wondering, if the rape took one hour to destroy the girl's life, then why not one hour for the judiciary to punish those accused of the henious crime? I am scared for my mom, my sister, my friends and I am dead scared to father a girl child.

Socially we are finished, especially Delhi. The attitude is such that even common men fully in their senses, behave shamelessly with women and relish smart comments made by them in bus, metro or public areas with a wry smile. We are simply a bit different in looks from Taliban, but in barbarism we surpass them by leaps and folds. Delhi is no longer 'DIL WALON KI DILLI', now it only breeds money, liquor, guns and real estate. Ironically, it is the capital of the country, with the parliament in the middle of everything. Talking about morals is now the worst thing to ever speak of. Don't we see erudite fluent english and hindi speaking gentry in khadi defending scams of crores, smiling their ways to CBI questioning and waving while coming out. Don't we see doctorates of economics feebly defending corruption and money laundering? I think, we will have to very soon head towards arab spring or something like that for true democracy, against our democracy which has long been hijacked by the lobbyists and anti socials.

The way things are going in Delhi, I am sure, soon Delhi Metro will announce, "Next station is MOLESTATION, all female passengers are advised to take care of their clothes, and are warned that staying close to the doors might cost them their lives, but staying in Delhi will definitely ruin them and rob them of their respect, integrity and sanity, and make their life a curse to live. Please be careful!"

Everytime I read or hear news regarding this incident, I get hurt, feel that pain. Will protesting get back that girl's life? Will her pain end? I don't know what's right or wrong at this very moment, but ANOTHER GIRL, ANOTHER STORY, ANOTHER PIECE OF NEWS, fifteen days of hot topic and a gossip for people, two days of protests and candle marches, and a lifetime of PAIN FOR PARENTS, and a LIVING DEATH FOR THE GIRL.

I hope the very brave girl and her friend have a speedy recovery and the sociopaths are hanged to death. But, I don't know why, this time I seriously want to do something concrete about this. But, in a democracy like India, majority rules, so I need the support of all the responsible citizens of India, to put an end to this mayhem. I promise, 'You give me your support and strength, and I will give you SAFE INDIA.'

All those who want to contact me, can mail me on 'loveguru9@gmail.com'.

Difficult Choices

Love, difficult as it is, may be because of its charm or its mysterious nature, fascinates almost each and everyone of us. Sometimes, unknowingly we are drawn towards it and before we realize this, we are actually in love with someone, whom we don't even think of in the wildest of our dreams. And when it dawns upon us that we are in love, we actually try to run away from it, as we are not able to understand it fully and also because love makes us unbelievingly strong.

14 February, 2012

Ananya : Angad, this is the last time, we are talking (Although, I don't want it to be the last time, I want to spend the rest of my life with you). You know, because of the differences that are going between you and Shubham sir, he has clearly told me not to talk to you and I just can't say no to what he says (I wish I could, but I can't, and I hope you will understand my position). Moreover, Anamika and her boyfriend Jatin, have also told me to stay away from you, and they are my best friends (I know I am making stupid excuses and that Jatin is a jerk and selfish person not worthy of being a friend, but, I am not able to understand as to why I love you, and when all these people are against you, it confuses the already confused mind of mines).

But, I assure you one thing, no matter what and where I am, during this time in the evening, as you say your time of the day, 7 pm to 9 pm, I will always look up in to the sky and watch the moon and think about all the things that we could have talked about and all the happy memories of the times we have spent together (I wish I could have been there with you and not on phone and that you could have hugged me and told me that I am not 'PARAI AMANAT', I am your 'AMANAT' and should have stopped me from breaking your heart and that I could have told you that I will always love you, and you alone).

29 November, 2012

Lavanya : I am really very much sorry Angad, for being rude with you earlier, but Ananya wanted me to hurt you, so that you will start hating her, but I know, you won't. The thing is, Ananya has been going through a very rough patch, and has become too much vulnerable and too rude at the same time. That's the reason I contacted you earlier and asked you to come back in her life. Although, she is my elder sister but her sense of judging people is really very much pathetic and I wanted you to be back in her life, so that you can bring stability in it. By the way, it's my birthday today, I turned sweet sixteen today (I hope I am not blushing too much).

Angad : Wow! Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Get yourself a chocolate truffle cake and lots of chocolates, dairymilk silk to be specific from my side.

And, you don't have to apologize for anything. I understand the position you were in. Stop worrying, and concentrate on your studies, I will try my level best to make sure Ananya smiles again. Maybe that's the best birthday gift I can give you.

Ananya : Why you want me to talk to Angad, Lavanya you know I can't talk to him, I have hurted him enough for one lifetime and I don't want to hurt him more, and moreover I can't go against Shubham sir's decision and he does not wants me to talk to him. I love him, I love him damn too much and that's the reason I don't want to hurt him (I am angry with God, and sad and depressed, that I have to make such difficult choices).

Lavanya : He loves you too, I know he does (And stupid, don't you worry about hurting him, he is much more stronger than the entire world). I have talked to him and I know he loves you much more than you love him. For the first time in your life, bet on the right person and you will be more than just happy and I can bet my life on that (Idiot! Just tell him you love him and see the magic that happens). Please!

If you will be afraid of love, you will never be happy, and you become the reason for misery of people who love you, accept love, and all the happiness in the world will bow down to you.

Falling In Love

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?

I did!

Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?

You fall deeper and deeper in love with each passing day, but try to hide it in every possible way.

'She is only a friend, and nothing else', that's the lie you keep telling yourself. You keep on saying she is just a bud, but deep inside, you're FALLING IN LOVE....!!!

Angad : Naina! You are elder to me... My brain suggests me not to fall in love with you, not to dream the future with 'U' and 'I' as 'US', not to think about the fabulous and happy moments we will have with our yet to be born kids, not to feel hopelessly attached to you, but heart says “Give it a try”.

Are you ready for TRIAL LOVE?

When I talk with you, I know the meaning of understanding.

When I laugh with you, I know the meaning of happiness.

When I touch you, I know the meaning of togetherness.

Whenever I am with you, I know the meaning of love.

All this while, you were all I thought about.

What had to happen has already happened, I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Tried holding the time, but things were never meant to be.

And now I don’t know why it all fell apart, why did we fall when all we wanted was to rise?

I am sorry for being so emotional.

I am sorry for being so possessive.

I am sorry that I cry for you.

I am sorry because I can't live without you.

I am sorry for the tears you shed.

I am sorry for the damage I made.

I am sorry that I've made you sick.

Sorry I hurt you so deep.

I am sorry for your pain and agony.

I am sorry for my selfish love.

I am sorry for caring not enough.

I am sorry for that can't be cured.

I am sorry and sorry again.

But believe me that I LOVE U.

Should I say sorry for that too???