Happy Birthday Baby.!!

"Wow, how long has it been since we have been with each other?" Lavanya asked him, taking another bite from her pizza.

"This friday, it will be three years," Angad told her and smiled.

Lavanya laughed briefly, "What happened to that playboy I met years ago who had to get into another relationship right after getting in to one?"

"Well," said Angad and took a bite from his chocolate dessert, "that playboy became thirty today."

Lavanya grinned, "You have grown up now?"

Angad shook his head, "Nah, and I never will, but everyone around me has grown up."

"What do you mean?" Lavanya frowned.

Angad looked deep in her eyes, "Remember back in college, when dating meant just dating? When it was just about having fun! You had no idea what would happen and in a way, you didn't want to know. Because sometimes, not knowing is fun. It was just so exciting. Now, the definition of dating has changed."

"As in?" Lavanya said, now ignoring the food on the table and getting more engrossed in the conversation she was having.

Angad frowned, "Like you don't know."

Lavanya smiled, "No, I don't know, please tell me", and batted her eyes.

Angad sighed, "Dating is still fun but it is not the same anymore. 'My parents want to see you.' 'Will our parents approve of our marriage?' 'How are we going to get married?' 'Are we going to follow your customs to get married or ours?' 'Will society approve this inter-religion marriage?' God, it's all about what others will think when we will get married."

Lavanya looked at him confused, "That's wrong?"

Angad shook his head, "Of course, it is not wrong. It just isn't, you know, what I want."

"What do you want?"

Angad took Lavanya's hand in his and smiled, "To be in love without worrying for what others think of us."

Lavanya didn't even blink her eyes, "I am not sure I understand you."

Without breaking the eye contact Angad continued, "Why do you think people want to be with each other? Because they are in love. Marriage, having kids; it's moving forward. Moving forward with a person you're in love with. Anybody can fall in love, but very few people have guts to be committed to that person for a life time. Right?"

"Yes"

"So, if we love each other, and want to be with each other, than what business others have with that. I love you, you love me, and we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. It doesn't matter how we get married, as long as we are getting married and are happy with each other. It doesn't matter what my distant relatives think of you as my life partner or whether your relatives approve me to be your life partner or not. What matters is whether we are happily in love with each other or not. It doesn't matter if we are following different religions, all religions preach love, and our love for each other is above each and every religion in the world. Our parents have a right to be worried for our future, but they shouldn't be the one to decide whether we should get married or not, or how we will live after getting married. That decision is solely ours, and ours alone, not mine not yours, but ours. And most importantly, the only deciding factor on marriage should be our love for each other and nothing else."

Lavanya took a deep breath and finally spoke, "Is that what you want?"

Angad smiled, "No honey, I want us to be together in love with each other. I want to be busy; busy living my life with you, busy loving you the way I love. I want to travel every corner of this world and I don't want to travel alone. I want to travel with someone I love, and that's you. I want you to be beside me, living the moment as it is - not worrying about what we would be tomorrow. Not worrying if society will label us as outcasts. I agree, society matters. But they don't matter as much as our love for each other. I don't want us to get married for the society, I want us to get married for our love, I want us to get married for ourselves. I want us to get married, have kids, settle down and be together, be in love."

Angad sighed and continued, "Marriage is not just a ceremony, or papers. It is not just a wedding. You hold hand to show your affection, you kiss because that makes sense in love. You marry not because you have to, because you want to, because it's just another way of showing affection, another way of declaring you are in love. It's not a promise of being together for the rest of your lives, it's only if you spend the rest of your lives together, you realise that it was a promise. Another beautiful start to an already beautiful journey. You don't wake up just to a person you love, you wake to your wife or husband the next morning, a person you dreamt of waking up next to, since you were old enough to love."

Angad looked deep in Lavanya's eyes and said, "I am in love with you, and I cannot stop loving you. After marriage, I might be a jerk and fight with you over silly things, I may be irresponsible and get home late at night, while you will be awake waiting for me. I might pamper our kids a lot, to the point of spoiling them. But I am sure of one thing, I will never fail as a husband or a father. I will love you and our kids, more than anyone else in the entire universe.

There will never come a day in our life when you will get tired of cooking three meals for us, as I will be helping you cook them. There will never come a day in our life when you will turn to opposite direction fuming in anger before sleeping, as I will always hug you and kiss before sleeping and make you sleep in my arms.

When there will be wrinkles on your face and grey hair on your head, and you won't remember how many days are there in a week. I will make you sit on my lap, hug you tight and show you photographs of all the happy times we have spent together, and make you smile.

Lavanya smiled and tears found their way to her cheeks, "If things are supposed to go this way, then trust me, no matter what others say or think, things will go this way. I love you and I am always with you."

Lavanya leaned towards Angad, her lips found his and an electric current ran through their bodies, "Happy birthday baby!"

Loving Me, Is Perfectly Imperfect Love!

Don’t love me by saying, “I love you”.

Love me with each and every touch of yours; love me by being there for me. Break the stereotypes, and love me by wiping my tears away, as the walls come down that I spent years crafting. Love me in the small bits, like when you hold my hand when it’s damp, because I get nervous when I get vulnerable.

Love all my imperfections, love me in all my wrongness - because it’s in those moments when I let down my shield, and it's in those very moments that I want you to hold me tighter, and make me believe that you understand what it means to truly love me, to be responsible for me.

When you commit to me - don’t just say the words, mean them and believe in us.

Try and value me, understand me - because when we’re together I want you to feel stupendous, glad, excited, elated and above all I want you to feel complete. I want you to feel my love for you, know that I appreciate your beauty, and believe in your genuineness and that you can never ever be replaced in my life, I love you.

When you’re with me — when you commit yourself to me — then don’t have your eyes wandering at the options. Because you should know and understand that those options are bullshit - it’s all an illusion, it’s just your ego saying, “I want the intangible more,” and your fears saying, “I’m not ready to be so happy, to be vulnerable.”

But in your heart you should know, you don’t really need another option, that I am not an option but your destiny.

I should be the one in your heart, and you should be smart enough to know that none of those “options” will truly satisfy you, make you feel inspired, alive or understood.

Love isn’t perfect, nor am I.

Love is listening to me when I speak, whispering words of reassurance in my ear when I am troubled, because you should believe I am not broken, just bent.

Love isn’t shiny and perfect. Love is raw. Love is the 3am fights that we have, the reddened eyes full of emotion, the intense conversations that makes us feel understood, that challenge us, push us to think and be better.

Love is frustrating the shit out of each other and then stopping to gaze at each other because we know, this is the problem we want to have.

Love is making an effort for it when you have found it.

You should not be worried about the future, because you should understand that "more" is just an illusion. You should aspire to build this love. You should not be worried about settling down, because you should know that dating me is not the end of your liberty - it’s the beginning of it.

Love is not filtered. Love is living the fuck out of your life with me. Love doesn’t get discarded for the next hit. Loving me means making an effort for me; taking me on a crazy adventure, giving me your time, your understanding.

Loving me means remaining faithful when things aren’t working in that moment, when I fall on hard times, when I struggle, and when there’s doubt in your heart.

Quite frankly, you are my dream girl, the one who tore down my walls; the one I hesitantly show that part of me that is dark, vulnerable, and I expect you to still love me. You are the one I let in, because I know you are worth the risk. And I won’t risk losing you because of my pride, fears, ego or selfish ways.

Truly loving me means putting us first; inspiring us to reach for more, taking the risk to not put one foot out the line, loving me so much that you won't betray me, because you won't let your demons ruin this - this raw, perfectly imperfect love.

Just This Something

When Sun rays touch you

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as Sun, send your love to me

When it rains there

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as rain, smile at it for me

When air brushes against your face

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as air, kiss it for me

When I am fast asleep

Just do this something for me

Keep coming in my dreams for me

Whether I say something or not

Just do this something for me

Always keep listening to me

Whether you see me or not

Just do this something for me

Always feel you to be part of me

Whether I am with you or not

Just do this something for me

Always remain somewhere within me

I wanna say just this something

I love you just more than anything

Carnial Ex-Periments With Past

Today was a bright Sunday morning, I got a call, a familiar combination of digits appeared on my cellphone screen and a familiar voice made me skip my heartbeat for a fraction of seconds.

"Hey! I am here... Can we catch up today?"

Half naked, looking up for my pyjamas, I try to recall all the moments spent with him.

"There?",  his voice echoed and that particular moment my scarlet red bra choses to falls off from the bed.

Trying to sound not too excited, so that my fiancee sleeping next to me, interprets it as a formal work call, I utter "Yeah! Starbucks, noon. Busy at the moment! See you soon."

With every stroke of the toothbrush, I remember the moments spent with him. As the luke warm water drips from the shower pores, I recall his touch, and the feel of his skin over mine, a sensation runs down my spine.

"Babe?" my fiancee calls from the bedroom and leaves me wondering, whether to give into my desires or not. Trying to convince myself in the best possible way, I call this a 'formal meeting' with my Ex, an 'EX-periment of carnial desires'.

So there I am, dressed in my black maxi dress, looking as fresh as a violet rose after the rain, in the best push-up bra I own, flaunting my assets, literally trying to make him regret his decision to move on.

My heart beat accelerates with every espresso sip. And as he leans to catch hold of the tissue, his smell replaces the air in my lungs.

"Purple Calvin Klein!" I exclaim.

"Versace Bright Crystal" he avers.

My lips seals his, smudging my 'Lakme Intense Matte' on his and we lock again. He pays, and we leave the place "together", after a span of two years.

At his place, as he unhooks my bra strap, my cellphone rings, I slide the red sphere dropping a "busy" message. As I lean to proceed, and feel his warmth, the cell phone rings again, this time with a message from my fiancee, "BAE! Your period is due today. Check your bag. Take care!"

I gather myself up, hook my bra up and tie my hair. Leaving his place, I wonder what stopped me...

Written By - Manvi Sharma

Edited By - Guy In The Blue Jean

Musings Of An Emotional Heart

What is happening to me?

This is unknown to me

Is this your love for me?

You have touched me without touching

You have given me this strange rhythm

You my dear, are my reason to love

Why is it happening, I am not aware

My eyes have shunned the slumbers

And have started dreaming of you

When the string of your love pulls

I come to you leaving all the worlds

I come to you leaving everyone

My arms want to curl you up and hug you

My nostrils want to be infused with you

My tongue wants to be relished with you

My eyes are used to looking at you

My ears are used to hearing you

I am perished, if I won't find you

I can't lose you again and again

I can't bear the tragedy of pain

Don't let my heart get mad in vain

Leave every reason and logic behind

Listen to your heart and mine

Don't let moments go, lets be loved and love

Stubborn Choices!

Things were not going smooth for Bhavana, she was having trouble from her family and was having thoughts of leaving her love for her family, actually she was confused if she loves Angad anymore or not.

To break the news of separation to him, she decides to call him.

Bhavana : I guess that's the end of our relationship, bye!

Angad was happy to hear Bhavana's voice after so long that tears of happiness started welling from his eyes, but soon those tears of happiness gave way to the shock that precedented the news of separation and that too in Bhavana's own voice. And all he could mumble was, "What?"

As if it didn't mattered to her that she can have a future with Angad or not, she replied in a very formal and mechanical way, "I don't think things will ever work out between us, this is the end of everything between."

"What's the matter? Talk to me."

"There is nothing to talk, we are no more a couple."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I have realised that all we have between us is love, and because of that love I can't hurt my parents, they will never ever agree for us."

"We will try and make them see things from our point."

"No, we won't. I am through with us, I don't wanna hurt them."

Once again tears were welling from Angad's eyes and this time they were not of happiness but of pain and hurt, he was so much in pain that he wanted to disappear from the face of earth, he wanted to vapourise in to thin air and get inhaled as oxygen by Bhavana, and be with her forever. But love of his life was no more his. And torn between his love for her, and the pain caused by it, he wasn't able to speak a thing, all he could muster were feeble mumbles that made some sense to Bhavana and she spoke again.

"I gave a word to my parents that I will never ever talk to you, and won't contact you in any way."

Gathering all the courage he had, Angad wiped away the tears, thought of all the dreams he and Bhavana had seen together, and then with the confidence of a man and determination of a lover, spoke very firmly, "I gave a word too, actually I promised you that I will never ever stop loving you, even if the death parts us then also I will keep loving you, and both of us know that I never break the promises I make. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you. Though you have decided to part ways with me, but I will always be with you like the sky over you, and if ever you need me, just whisper my name and and I will be there holding you in my arms. You can fulfil your words to your parents, and I will keep my promise to you. You are my love not some chocolate that I will stop having. I love you with all my heart and as of today, loving you is my reality."

Bhavana disconnected the call without a single word, and once again tears found their from Angad's eyes to his cheeks all the way down to his chin.

Why I Don't Love!

Lily : Why do you fear falling in love so much, Angad?

Angad : My dear, it is not that I fear falling in love. What I do fear, however, is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same about me. Or that they too love me, but are too afraid that their parents won't agree for their union with me, or their friends won't approve of us, or that they are too afraid as to what others might say. To me, that is how you die while still breathing and you can never recover from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest part about that is that we never know if we're falling for the wrong person. That's what I am afraid of.