To Love Or Not To Love

Often my friends tell me, that they are confused about pursuing relationships, that they don't know with whom they should fall in love with, and to whom they should keep at bay. Even people who have been married for years, ask me how can they evaluate their marriages, as they feel they are confused about their marriages and their life has become so much mechanical and busy that they don't even give a damn about their relationships, which in turn is making them uneasy. So to simplify things, for each and everyone who is confused, whether 'to love' or 'not to love', here is a failsafe love cum relationship guide. These are the few simple things that you should remember and practice to give yourself a happy life and long lasting relationships.

• If a person wants you, nothing can keep them away. If they don't want you, nothing can make them stay. So, stop making excuses for them and their behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

• Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for someone, before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because you were not getting treated the way you deserve, then heck no, you can't "BE FRIENDS". A friend would never mistreat a friend.

• Don't settle for less, if you feel like they are stringing you along, then they probably are. Don't stay because you think "IT WILL GET BETTER". You will be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU, so make the right move.

• Avoid someone who already has a bunch of children, from a bunch of partners. They didn't marry them when they had children, so why should you be treated differently?

• Always have your own set of friends separate from theirs. Maintain boundaries in how your partner treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

• Never let your partner know each and everything. They will use it against you later.

• You cannot change a person's behaviour. Change comes from within. Don't make your partner feel they are more important than you are. Even if they have has more education or in a better job. Don't make them into QUASI-GOD. They are humans, nothing more nothing less.

• Never let you partner define who you are. You are cut out to be someone unique, so don't try to cut yourself to be someone you are not.

• Never borrow someone else's partner. If they cheated with you, they will cheat on you. Your partner will only treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you. All MEN are NOT DOGS and all WOMEN are NOT BITCHES.

• You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise is a two way street.

• You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

• You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone COMPLIMENTARY not SUPPLEMENTARY.

• Dating is fun. Even if they don't turn out to be Mr/Miss RIGHT, make them miss you sometimes, flirt with them.

• When your partner always knows where you are, and you are always readily available to them, they take it for granted.

• Don't fully commit to someone who doesn't give you everything that you deserve. Keep them in your radar, but get to know others.

• Scared of being alone is what makes lot of us stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful. You should always believe in yourself. You are the best thing that could happen to anyone and if your partner mistreats you, they will miss out on a good thing.

• If they are attracted to you in the first place, just know that they are not alone. Others are watching you too, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one and live your life happily ever after.

Take care of your own heart.