Loving Me, Is Perfectly Imperfect Love!

Don’t love me by saying, “I love you”.

Love me with each and every touch of yours; love me by being there for me. Break the stereotypes, and love me by wiping my tears away, as the walls come down that I spent years crafting. Love me in the small bits, like when you hold my hand when it’s damp, because I get nervous when I get vulnerable.

Love all my imperfections, love me in all my wrongness - because it’s in those moments when I let down my shield, and it's in those very moments that I want you to hold me tighter, and make me believe that you understand what it means to truly love me, to be responsible for me.

When you commit to me - don’t just say the words, mean them and believe in us.

Try and value me, understand me - because when we’re together I want you to feel stupendous, glad, excited, elated and above all I want you to feel complete. I want you to feel my love for you, know that I appreciate your beauty, and believe in your genuineness and that you can never ever be replaced in my life, I love you.

When you’re with me — when you commit yourself to me — then don’t have your eyes wandering at the options. Because you should know and understand that those options are bullshit - it’s all an illusion, it’s just your ego saying, “I want the intangible more,” and your fears saying, “I’m not ready to be so happy, to be vulnerable.”

But in your heart you should know, you don’t really need another option, that I am not an option but your destiny.

I should be the one in your heart, and you should be smart enough to know that none of those “options” will truly satisfy you, make you feel inspired, alive or understood.

Love isn’t perfect, nor am I.

Love is listening to me when I speak, whispering words of reassurance in my ear when I am troubled, because you should believe I am not broken, just bent.

Love isn’t shiny and perfect. Love is raw. Love is the 3am fights that we have, the reddened eyes full of emotion, the intense conversations that makes us feel understood, that challenge us, push us to think and be better.

Love is frustrating the shit out of each other and then stopping to gaze at each other because we know, this is the problem we want to have.

Love is making an effort for it when you have found it.

You should not be worried about the future, because you should understand that "more" is just an illusion. You should aspire to build this love. You should not be worried about settling down, because you should know that dating me is not the end of your liberty - it’s the beginning of it.

Love is not filtered. Love is living the fuck out of your life with me. Love doesn’t get discarded for the next hit. Loving me means making an effort for me; taking me on a crazy adventure, giving me your time, your understanding.

Loving me means remaining faithful when things aren’t working in that moment, when I fall on hard times, when I struggle, and when there’s doubt in your heart.

Quite frankly, you are my dream girl, the one who tore down my walls; the one I hesitantly show that part of me that is dark, vulnerable, and I expect you to still love me. You are the one I let in, because I know you are worth the risk. And I won’t risk losing you because of my pride, fears, ego or selfish ways.

Truly loving me means putting us first; inspiring us to reach for more, taking the risk to not put one foot out the line, loving me so much that you won't betray me, because you won't let your demons ruin this - this raw, perfectly imperfect love.

Just This Something

When Sun rays touch you

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as Sun, send your love to me

When it rains there

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as rain, smile at it for me

When air brushes against your face

Just imagine this something for me

Think of me as air, kiss it for me

When I am fast asleep

Just do this something for me

Keep coming in my dreams for me

Whether I say something or not

Just do this something for me

Always keep listening to me

Whether you see me or not

Just do this something for me

Always feel you to be part of me

Whether I am with you or not

Just do this something for me

Always remain somewhere within me

I wanna say just this something

I love you just more than anything

Carnial Ex-Periments With Past

Today was a bright Sunday morning, I got a call, a familiar combination of digits appeared on my cellphone screen and a familiar voice made me skip my heartbeat for a fraction of seconds.

"Hey! I am here... Can we catch up today?"

Half naked, looking up for my pyjamas, I try to recall all the moments spent with him.

"There?",  his voice echoed and that particular moment my scarlet red bra choses to falls off from the bed.

Trying to sound not too excited, so that my fiancee sleeping next to me, interprets it as a formal work call, I utter "Yeah! Starbucks, noon. Busy at the moment! See you soon."

With every stroke of the toothbrush, I remember the moments spent with him. As the luke warm water drips from the shower pores, I recall his touch, and the feel of his skin over mine, a sensation runs down my spine.

"Babe?" my fiancee calls from the bedroom and leaves me wondering, whether to give into my desires or not. Trying to convince myself in the best possible way, I call this a 'formal meeting' with my Ex, an 'EX-periment of carnial desires'.

So there I am, dressed in my black maxi dress, looking as fresh as a violet rose after the rain, in the best push-up bra I own, flaunting my assets, literally trying to make him regret his decision to move on.

My heart beat accelerates with every espresso sip. And as he leans to catch hold of the tissue, his smell replaces the air in my lungs.

"Purple Calvin Klein!" I exclaim.

"Versace Bright Crystal" he avers.

My lips seals his, smudging my 'Lakme Intense Matte' on his and we lock again. He pays, and we leave the place "together", after a span of two years.

At his place, as he unhooks my bra strap, my cellphone rings, I slide the red sphere dropping a "busy" message. As I lean to proceed, and feel his warmth, the cell phone rings again, this time with a message from my fiancee, "BAE! Your period is due today. Check your bag. Take care!"

I gather myself up, hook my bra up and tie my hair. Leaving his place, I wonder what stopped me...

Written By - Manvi Sharma

Edited By - Guy In The Blue Jean

Musings Of An Emotional Heart

What is happening to me?

This is unknown to me

Is this your love for me?

You have touched me without touching

You have given me this strange rhythm

You my dear, are my reason to love

Why is it happening, I am not aware

My eyes have shunned the slumbers

And have started dreaming of you

When the string of your love pulls

I come to you leaving all the worlds

I come to you leaving everyone

My arms want to curl you up and hug you

My nostrils want to be infused with you

My tongue wants to be relished with you

My eyes are used to looking at you

My ears are used to hearing you

I am perished, if I won't find you

I can't lose you again and again

I can't bear the tragedy of pain

Don't let my heart get mad in vain

Leave every reason and logic behind

Listen to your heart and mine

Don't let moments go, lets be loved and love

Stubborn Choices!

Things were not going smooth for Bhavana, she was having trouble from her family and was having thoughts of leaving her love for her family, actually she was confused if she loves Angad anymore or not.

To break the news of separation to him, she decides to call him.

Bhavana : I guess that's the end of our relationship, bye!

Angad was happy to hear Bhavana's voice after so long that tears of happiness started welling from his eyes, but soon those tears of happiness gave way to the shock that precedented the news of separation and that too in Bhavana's own voice. And all he could mumble was, "What?"

As if it didn't mattered to her that she can have a future with Angad or not, she replied in a very formal and mechanical way, "I don't think things will ever work out between us, this is the end of everything between."

"What's the matter? Talk to me."

"There is nothing to talk, we are no more a couple."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I have realised that all we have between us is love, and because of that love I can't hurt my parents, they will never ever agree for us."

"We will try and make them see things from our point."

"No, we won't. I am through with us, I don't wanna hurt them."

Once again tears were welling from Angad's eyes and this time they were not of happiness but of pain and hurt, he was so much in pain that he wanted to disappear from the face of earth, he wanted to vapourise in to thin air and get inhaled as oxygen by Bhavana, and be with her forever. But love of his life was no more his. And torn between his love for her, and the pain caused by it, he wasn't able to speak a thing, all he could muster were feeble mumbles that made some sense to Bhavana and she spoke again.

"I gave a word to my parents that I will never ever talk to you, and won't contact you in any way."

Gathering all the courage he had, Angad wiped away the tears, thought of all the dreams he and Bhavana had seen together, and then with the confidence of a man and determination of a lover, spoke very firmly, "I gave a word too, actually I promised you that I will never ever stop loving you, even if the death parts us then also I will keep loving you, and both of us know that I never break the promises I make. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you. Though you have decided to part ways with me, but I will always be with you like the sky over you, and if ever you need me, just whisper my name and and I will be there holding you in my arms. You can fulfil your words to your parents, and I will keep my promise to you. You are my love not some chocolate that I will stop having. I love you with all my heart and as of today, loving you is my reality."

Bhavana disconnected the call without a single word, and once again tears found their from Angad's eyes to his cheeks all the way down to his chin.

Why I Don't Love!

Lily : Why do you fear falling in love so much, Angad?

Angad : My dear, it is not that I fear falling in love. What I do fear, however, is falling so deeply in love with someone and investing my life into theirs only to discover that they do not feel the same about me. Or that they too love me, but are too afraid that their parents won't agree for their union with me, or their friends won't approve of us, or that they are too afraid as to what others might say. To me, that is how you die while still breathing and you can never recover from that no matter how hard you try. The scariest part about that is that we never know if we're falling for the wrong person. That's what I am afraid of.